The Summer of Black
by flightless wren
Summary: PG for mild language. Poor Sirius has to spend all summer with his cousins and brother. What will he do? How will he survive? THIS STORY HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED.
1. The Curse

The Summer of Black

Poor Sirius. His mum has forced him to spend all of the summer before his sixth year  with his cousins, Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa, and brother Regulus.. How will he survive? Well, we're not sure ourselves. We do know that he will be exchanging letters often with his buddies James, Remus and Peter. Cackle. 

Prologue 

"SIIIIIIIIIIIIIRIUUUUUUSSS!" Mrs. Black yelled shrilly. 

"Yes?" Sirius replied through gritted teeth. 

"Pack your bags!" 

"You're throwing me out?" he exclaimed hopefully, with visions of the Potter house dancing in his head. 

"No! You're spending the summer with your cousins! And your brother," she added as an afterthought. 

"Yay!" Regulus squeaked, his eleven-year-old voice not quite mature. 

"Shut up, Reggie. I mean, _Regina!_"Sirius said tauntingly.

"Muuuuuuuum!"

"SIRIUS! COME HERE THIS INSTANT!" she shrieked.

"I am here, Mother," he said, rolling his eyes. 

"I am going to give you a spanking!" Calling to the house elf, she yelled, "Binky! Come give Sirius a spanking!" 

"I thought _you_ were going to give me a spanking," Sirius muttered. 

"That's enough!" 

~

Chapter One-The Curse 

"We're here!" Mrs. Black called as she dusted the Floo powder off of her new robes. Regulus appeared soon after.  

Sirius slogged through the house, dragging his trunks behind him. "Andromeda?" he called hopefully. He did rather like her. She was in Gryffindor as well, unlike all his other Slytherin relatives. 

"Hellooooo!" his aunt Ananda replied, sending chills up Sirius' spine. 

"Hey Sirius," Andromeda said cheerfully, bounding down the marble stairs. "How's your summer been so far?" 

"Gloomy," he whispered, so his mother couldn't hear. "Just great!" he said a bit louder. 

"Ah. Well, come on, I'll show you where you're staying!" she replied, running up the stairs, Sirius following. 

When they reached the top, Sirius panting, Andromeda stopped suddenly. 

"What?" Sirius gasped, trying to regain his lungs. 

"Watch out for Bella," she whispered. "She's been in an evil mood."

"Why?" Sirius asked, his curiosity piqued. 

"Because her precious Rodolphus hasn't written her in two whole days," she replied, mocking.

"Eww. . . Rodolphus Lestrange? Sick." 

"I know. Anyway, watch out for her."

As they walked by her room, Sirius heard some strains of music.

Everyone's life sucks 

_We all only die in the end (baybay)_

_All you can do is make a few bucks_

_And then you DIIIIEEEEE again. . . _

Sirius shuddered. Not only was this dark, depressing music, but it was also just flat out BAD. He couldn't believe even Bellatrix could sink that low. 

"This is my room," Andromeda announced, opening her door briefly for Sirius to get a glimpse of a poster of some wizarding band called It's All Hunky-Dory. They were from Australia or someplace, and every girl in Hogwarts was constantly swooning over them, making it rather hard for a bloke to get a date now and then.

"This is Narcissa's room," she continued. "She just turned twelve, so she thinks she's soooo _groovy._ She's allowed to wear make-up now, and she is completely obsessed with it."

Sirius snickered. "Decided to live up to her name, has she?"

"Apparently. And here is _your_ room!" She flung the door open dramatically. Inside was a room painted white, with a canopy bed in the middle. It had forest green velvet hangings, and black bedsheets and covers. A subtle tribute to Slytherin and the Black family. 

"Wow." 

"But Regulus' room is better. Because everyone except me and Dad hates you."

"Yeah, I know. Once you get in with those Gryffs, you're pretty much an outcast for life," Sirius said philosophically, throwing his trunks on the floor.

"Yeah, pretty much," Andromeda agreed, thinking of herself as the wise voice of experience. 

"Is his room the one across from mine?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah." 

"Great."

Andromeda patted him sympathetically on the arm. 

"I'll call the house elf to put away your clothes," she said.

"I'll do it myself, but thanks anyway." Sirius replied.

"Alright then. See you later." 

"Yeah, sure."

Andromeda left, closing the door behind her. Sirius sighed and looked around his room. 

"Well, might as well write a little letter to James," he said to himself. Sirius walked over to a desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. And ink, obviously.

_Dear James, _

_I hate this place. This time, I am talking about a place other than Grimmauld Place, for once. I'm at my aunt Ananda's house. The only thing that makes this place remotely tolerable is Andromeda. Remember, she's my cousin that's in Gryffindor. Bellatrix is busy playing dark evil "Let's kill everyone, even ourselves" music, Narcissa is, well, living up to her name, and everyone here hates me except Andromeda and Uncle Alphard. I am beginning to suspect that they may have only invited me to try to get me to go over to the Dark Side. Evil people, I tell you. _

_On to more pleasant topics. Have any girls owled you asking for my address? If so, tell them to send their owls to this address. Make sure to tell them how hot I am. _

_Has Peter sent you the Map plans yet? I couldn't believe it when he came up with that brilliant idea. Make sure Remus has researched all those spells. Then. . . send it to me, heh heh heh. Imagine me laughing evilly. _

_In case this owl is intercepted, Bella, I love you, Auntie, I love you more, and Cissa. . . you're beautiful. _

_Oh, and ix-nay on the oming-cay er-ovay. And how is Plan Grim coming on? Or plan Nobility Complex, as you call it. Well, I think you actually call it Plan Helping a Friend At Certain Times of the Month. Whatever. How is Plan nimal-ay coming? Did you see that book I sent you, where it showed _moving photographs_ of the people who'd failed it? Wasn't that hilarious. I think it made Peter a bit squeamish about the Plan though. Anyway, please write back, as I am going INSANE. It's like I'm in Azkaban, or something. All my relatives (excluding Andie and Uncle Alphard) are evil Dementors and Andie keeps getting sucked away. Anyway. Yeah, so write back. Soon. Like as soon as you get this. Like where I would get your reply in less than two hours. _

_                                                                        Losing his sanity one relative at a time,_

_                                                                                                Sirius_

Sirius sent off his letter with his new owl, Cupid, and sat desolately at his desk. 

But not for long. 

Bellatrix burst into his room. "Sirius!" 

"What?" he jumped. 

"You are supposed to be _unpacking!_ Not sending off letters to your dirty Gryffindor friends!" she spat. 

"I _am _unpacking! I just unpacked my quill, parchment and ink. And I just let my owl out for some exercise. Duh."

"Sure. If you don't hurry, I'm telling Mum!" Bellatrix flounced out of the room.

"Nee nee nee nee nee!" Sirius mocked quietly. After all, he had no desire to bring on the Wrath of Evil Bellatrix. 

Yet, anyway. 

Andromeda crept into his room. "Hey, I'll help you unpack." She pulled out a wand stealthily. 

Sirius' eyes widened. "Wow. You're going to use your wand outside of the school year? Nice," he said approvingly. "I admire your bravery greatly." 

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "Don't be a dolt," she said. "Mum has so many wards up on this place, no Ministry official, no matter how sophisticated their Magic-Detecting spells may be, there's no way they could catch a hint of underage magic going on here."

Sirius whistled. "I wonder if my mother has those up, too."

"Duh. It's taken you fifteen years to figure that out? Tsk. Here, look at this cool spell I learned. If you just flick your wand, like this, and concentrate real hard, you can make everything unpack itself and fold, too." Andromeda flicked expertly. Sure enough, it was as she said. 

"That is so cool." 

"I know. Come on, we have to go eat dinner." Andromeda took him by the arm and dragged him after her down the steps and into the dining room. 

Sirius staggered a little bit once she let his arm go, but he managed to keep himself from falling on Narcissa, who was seated in the chair right in front of where he was standing. "Hello, Cissa," he said amiably. "Looking as pretty as ever, I see."

Narcissa preened. "Obviously. And don't call me Cissa, that is a childish name," she said with an aristocratic air. 

"So sorry, madam," Sirius said, mockingly. Luckily, no one noticed except Bellatrix and Andromeda, who sneered and who hid a smile, respectively. "Hello Aunt Ananda. Uncle Alphard." 

"Good evening, young Sirius. How have you been enjoying Hogwarts?" Uncle Alphard asked genially. Bellatrix and her mother sniffed.

"Great fun, actually. I've loads of friends, and girls-" Sirius winked. "I'm sure Andromeda can testify to the enormous amount of girls swooning over me and asking her to try to set them up with me." He leaned back, a satisfied smile on his face, oblivious to the disgust on Bella's face, the exasperation on Andie's, and the great amusement on Alphard's. 

"There have been exactly two girls who have asked me such questions. And luckily, Lily Evans saved me, because she jumped in and informed them of what a foul creature you are," Andromeda replied. 

Sirius scowled. "Lily Evans. . . hmph!" 

Alphard grinned. "Dost young Sirius hath a liking for Miss Evans?"

"No! God, no. What a shrew."

"She is not a shrew! She happens to be one of my good friends!" Andie shot back at him. 

"Whatever. Anyway, James likes her, so I wouldn't want to steal her away with my charm and good looks." 

"Arrogant prat."

"James is not arrogant!" Sirius leapt to his best friend's defense. "How dare you speak so?"

"I was talking about you, actually," Andromeda shot back.

"I am not," Sirius replied, outraged that a word such as arrogant could be used in connection with him. "I am one of the most humble people you can find."

"Right."

"Bellatrix, darling, could you please pass the scones?" Ananda Black cut in loudly. "_Thank_ you dear. Have you heard from Rodolphus lately?"

Bellatrix stared at her mother, chin wobbling. Then she burst into tears and ran from the room, yelling, "I hate you! I hate everyone! I hate _everything!_"

There was a brief silence. "I suppose that's a no," Ananda said calmly. 

~

After dinner had been finished, Sirius went up to his room, followed by Narcissa, Andromeda and Regulus. "Arrrrrrgh! Can't you people leave me alone?" Sirius demanded. "I might have things to do, you know!"

"Like what?" Narcissa replied. "Andromeda unpacked for you, there's no way your scummy friends could have written back yet, and. . ." Failing to come up with a third thing that Sirius could not be doing, she said, "And you're supposed to pay attention to us, anyway!"

"What for?" Sirius said rudely.

"Because we are supposed to have a good influence on you. Duh, you idiot."

Sirius merely glared at her. Then James' owl, Beaky, flew in. Throwing Narcissa, Andromeda and Regulus triumphant looks, he gave the owl some treats. "Now leave," he said imperially. 

Regulus and Narcissa sat on his bed, and Andromeda peered at the letter. 

"I said, OUT!" 

"Fine," Regulus grumbled. 

"Hey Sirius," Narcissa said. 

"What?" he growled exasperatedly.

"Can I make you over?"

"NO!" he yelled. 

"Fine! Hey, Regulus, can I make _you_ over?"

Regulus shrugged. "I don't care. It's all the same to me."

"Yes! Come on." 

As Narcissa and Regulus trailed out of the room, Sirius looked expectantly at Andromeda. 

"What?"

"LEAVE."

"Siriusss… I'm your Gryffindor buddy!" 

"And yet I am unmoved. Out."

"Fine, but when Bellatrix comes at you with a wand at your throat, don't expect me to jump in and save you."

"Fine."

Andromeda stomped out of the room.

            _Sirius,_

_            What have they done to you? You were so. . . polite in your last letter. I almost died of shock. And stop talking in that stupid Pig Latin. It's dumb. Plus, even a child could understand that you were saying that you wouldn't be able to sneak out and come over to my house. You idiot. _

_            Anyway, Peter has sent the Plans for the Map. I am looking over the theory, and then I will send it to Remus. Who, by the way, is trying to talk us out of Plan Animal again. The idiot._

_            You'll never guess who sent me an owl yesterday. _

_            Am having loads of fun at my house de-gnoming the garden. Wish you were here. _

_                                                                        Happily killing off gnomes,_

_                                    James  _            

            _PS Your owl has mysteriously disappeared. I think he may have run into the neighbor's owl. Which is a fertile young female. Oh, shudder. Owl love. Gross. _

_                                                                                    JGP_

_            PPS You highly overestimate your prowess with girls. _

_                                                                                    JGP_

_            PPPS I almost forgot. Why don't you ask your aunt if you could come over here for my birthday next week? After all, I am of noble blood; surely she wouldn't object? And one's sixteenth birthday is rather important._

_                                                                                    JGP_

Sirius frowned. Was it his imagination, or did James not tell him who'd sent the owl? And speaking of owls. . . 

                        _Prat-boy,_

_                                    You never said if any girls had sent owls asking my address, you foul creature. And who sent you an owl? And I hate de-gnoming. _

_                        And Pig Latin is the best. _

_                        Hurry with the Map. I want to see it. And I have a brilliant idea. _

_                        Tell Remus – Well, actually, I'll tell him. I'll write him now. And I'll ask Aunt Ananda about visiting you. Omitting, naturally, that other people of not-so-pure blood will be there. _

_                        Who sent you the owl?_

_                                                                        Dying of fiendish curiosity,_

_                                                                                    Sirius_

_                        PS Has Marion Knightly written? She is a fine specimen of femininity._

_                                                                        SOB_

_                        PPS If Cupid has indeed lived up to his name, it may be awhile before I have him back. Therefore I am going to use Beaky. Hope you don't mind!_

_                                                                        SOB _

_                        PPPS Just realized what my initials look like, and I'll thank you to remember that my name is Sirius **O**rion Black. Besides, literally, it's true. I am the son of a . . . Blast. This dumb quill is charmed with an Anti-Swearing Charm. I'll bet Andromeda had something to do with this._

_                                                                        SO – Sirius Orion Black_

Sirius signed his name with a flourish. Darn James and his no doubt dirty mind.

_            Dear Remus,_

_            WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, YOU IDIOT? As if we are going to give up on Plan Animal. Even if you didn't have your problem, I would still want to do it. Duh. Animals. _

_            Anyway, how is your summer? Read anything boring and historical lately? Well, in case you haven't gotten the news, I am being incarcerated. No, really. I am being forced to stay at my aunt Ananda's house. Did I tell you I looked up her name the other day (well, two months ago) in Peter's Divination book where it had name meanings, and her name means 'that great joy without which the universe will collapse'? What a cruel joke. _

_            Although I do not mind living here as much as I mind living at home, because Andromeda's here, and she's the closest thing I have to a sister/friend in my dumb family. Although I think I might get to see Arthur over the summer. Am not sure yet, because his mother and father have developed "insane ideas" as my mother put it. So they've probably taken up with Dumbledore and his lot. Also, I think my uncle likes me, which is not surprising, as I am a most likeable person. Have any fair young lasses owled you for my address? Give them this one._

_            Also, my owl, Stupid, I mean Cupid, has disappeared. James and I think he's into James' neighbor's female owl. Literally. So after you get this, send Beaky to James with the letter I wrote to him. Thanks. _

_                                    Having great fun imagining your reaction to this owl,_

_                                                                        Sirius_

Sirius sent off both letters and sank into his bed. It was going to be a long summer.


	2. The Fight

Chapter Two-The Fight  
  
The next morning, Sirius woke up to the banging of pots and pans right over his bed. "YAAAAAAAHHHHHHARGH!!" He leaped out of bed, grabbing his wand, which was on the bedside table, in a single, swift motion. "What the hell do you want?" he shouted, upon seeing Bellatrix's sneer and hearing Narcissa's laughter.  
  
"Don't swear, Sirius!" Andromeda yelled, barging into the room. "And what are you guys doing, anyway?"  
  
"Sirius has to get up," Bellatrix replied placidly.  
  
"What? Why?" Sirius demanded.  
  
"It's nine o'clock, you lazy Gryffindor," Bellatrix sneered. Sneering seemed to be her newest pastime. Aside from sacrificing small fluffy bunnies to the Dark Lord, that is.  
  
"'Lazy Gryffindor'?" Andromeda repeated in disbelief. "Slytherins are far more lazy than any Gryffindor."  
  
"Slytherins? Ha! I beg to differ," Bellatrix sniffed. "We are a cunning and ambitious lot, and it has been said that the early bird catches the proverbial worm."  
  
"So, you're saying Slytherins eat worms?" Sirius cut in.  
  
Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Narcissa all rolled their eyes simultaneously. "That was dumb, Sirius," Andromeda said.  
  
"And what I am saying," Bellatrix continued coldly, "is that Slytherins are not lazy because it rarely suits our purposes to be so."  
  
Narcissa tossed her hair over her shoulder. "This is boring," she announced. "Let's do something interesting."  
  
"Well, how about you leave so I can get some decent clothes on?" Sirius replied rudely, still stung by Andromeda's comment.  
  
"Very well," Bellatrix replied, leaving. Narcissa followed in her wake, while Andromeda shot Sirius an exasperated look as she left as well.  
  
Sirius dressed, and started to make up his bed, but remembered he could use his wand here. With a triumphant grin, he rifled through his trunk and found the wand toward the bottom. He swished his wand happily, a warm feeling shooting through his body. He said the incantation, and the bed made itself. Feeling accomplished, Sirius set his wand on his trunk and headed down to breakfast.

"Ahh, that was delicious," Sirius proclaimed, leaning back in his chair. "Well, I'm off."  
  
"Where do you think you're going?" Ananda Black asked coldly.  
  
"Uh, to my room."  
  
"Really. Now, why would you want to do that?"  
  
Sirius stared at her. "Why do you think?"  
  
"Excuse me?" Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa all looked down at their plates, waiting for the blow.  
  
"Um, I meant that I need to use the bathroom."  
  
"In your room?"  
  
"No, no, I got my nouns mixed up. I meant the bathroom."  
  
Ananda raised an eyebrow. Sirius smiled hopefully.  
  
"Mum, can we please just go?" Andromeda asked quietly.  
  
"Very well. Get out of my sight," she snapped. The children all got up and walked with dignity out the door. Then they all ran upstairs, chasing Sirius, who was wondering if it was That Time Of The Month.  
  
Running as fast as he could, he got up to his room, and slammed the door behind him. Whispering the Locking Charm, he sank to the floor, panting. It was then that he noticed an owl bearing not one, but three letters. Opening them excitedly, he began to read.  
  
_ Dear Sirius,  
Well, excuuuuuuse me for being slightly concerned for my friends' welfare when it comes to trying to become you-know-whats. Especially after that disgusting book that showed those horrible moving photographs of the failures. I mean, really. There was no reason to call names. Jerk.  
As a matter of fact, I have read some historical books lately, but they were not boring. One was particularly good—_  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and skipped the next few sentences.  
  
_ --and that was how I found out about mating habits of armadillos._  
_ I had heard about your incarceration, actually. James had just owled me, along with the Map. I came up with a title for it by the way. Be dazzled: The Marauder's Map!  
The story of how I came up with that is pretty good! I was cleaning my room because Mum was going to shoot me if I didn't pretty soon (she had That Look on her face—you know the Look I mean) and anyway, my bookcase got shaken when I accidentally hit it with my, erm, shoe. Right. So, anyway, my dictionary fell down onto the floor and fell open. I heard the Hallelujah chorus. I ran over to the page, and There It Was. "Marauder: 1. one who roves in search of booty. 2. one who invades for plunder; raider."  
James likes the idea, and so did Peter. So even if you hate it, we're just going to beat you up and make you agree. Right.  
No "fair young lasses" or whatever you called them have owled me for your address. And if they did, I would send them to your mother.  
  
RJL_  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes in disgust. He'd answer that letter first.  
  
_ My dear laddie,  
As absolutely _fascinating_ as the mating habits of armadillos are, I have to say that you have reached an all-time low. Anyway, enough chit-chat. The Marauder's Map. Marauder. I like it. And if you send ANYTHING to my mother, I will hex you. Right. Well, I have to answer James' letter. As they say in la belle France, bonjour.  
Sirius_  
  
Sirius sealed that letter and turned to James'.  
  
_Hey ugly,  
Attached is the Famed Marauder's Map, full of wonder, treasure, and secret passages. Do as you wish, as long as you don't mess it up. And no girls have written for your address, and I will never tell you who has written, even if wild horses, big black Grims, wolves, and rats come to tear out my liver and stomp on my heart. Well, perhaps then. But not until then. Anyway, have you asked your aunt yet? The party's gonna be on the second Saturday of August.  
JGP  
_  
_Hey stupid,  
Am cackling over our brilliance and my soon-to-be apparent genius. No, I have not asked Aunt Whatshername yet, because I haven't caught her in a good mood. Besides, it's just now July. Erm. 15th. See? Plenty of time. So anyway, I'm planning on asking her sometime next week. I'm going to do my angel thing and then spring on her the idea of spending time at a "pureblood's" house. Though your parents haven't exactly kept it secret whose side they're on. But I live in hope. And I can arrange for a Grim, a rat, and a wolf to attack you. Perhaps I can get a wild horse. So tell me who wrote!  
Sirius Orion Black  
The Great  
_  
Sirius sealed the envelope and put it aside. Feeling accomplished, he picked up his the final letter.  
  
_Sirius,  
It's Peter. Are you coming to James' house for his party? I think I will be. Have you done anything with the Map yet? Pretty exciting, isn't it? Should make for a fun year this fall!  
_  
Sirius stared at the letter. Did Peter think Sirius had nothing better to do than read a boring letter with no juicy bits of gossip or news of girls? Suddenly, Sirius' eyes caught an unbelievable sentence.  
  
_ Erm, do you think James would mind if I borrowed the Cloak once in a while? Just to, you know, explore. I'd need the Map too. To make sure no one's around. Well, I guess I'll tell you. I'd like to be able to meet up with someone occasionally._  
  
Sirius nearly had a heart attack. Surely... surely Peter hadn't got himself a girl, had he? No, no, the idea was preposterous. Though... come to think of it, hadn't he talked a bit to that Ravenclaw? Sirius strained to remember her name. He'd not been particularly interested in Ravenclaws, except for Jenna. She had refused to do almost anything on their dates but study; hence Sirius' raised grades for that quarter. McGonagall had been quite unnerved. At any rate, he'd quickly lost interest in Ravenclaws, but he distinctly remembered Peter talking a bit to that one girl, oh, what was her name? Sirius knew he'd seen Peter doodling her name somewhere... He vaguely remembered glasses and long, straight blonde hair. Sirius got up to find Andromeda. Perhaps she would remember.  
  
"Andie?" Sirius called, knocking on her door.  
  
"Come in," Andromeda replied.  
  
Sirius walked in to find her sprawled across her bed reading Witch Weekly. "What's up?" she asked absentmindedly, marking answers in a quiz.  
  
"Are you very friendly with the Ravenclaw girls?" Sirius asked. "Oh, a few. Why?"  
  
"Do you know a girl with glasses and long blonde hair?"  
  
Andromeda finally looked up. "Jane Firestar?"  
  
Aha! That was the name! Sirius replied excitedly, "Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! What's she like?"  
  
"Do you fancy her?" Andromeda asked, astonished.  
  
"Me? Oh, no, no, Peter does."  
  
"Peter?"  
  
"Yeah, so what can you tell me about her?"  
  
Andromeda opened her mouth, and then shut it. "I'm not going to tell you," she said huffily, turning back to her quiz.  
  
"Why?" Sirius exclaimed.  
  
"Because you'll just be horrible to Peter about it, and one day you'll push the boy over the edge. I've seen how you and James can treat him!" she snapped when Sirius opened his mouth to protest. "You act like he's nothing more than your errand boy, lives to do nothing but your bidding, and you'll make his life miserable if you knew about him and Jane, so I'm not going to tell you. You can find out from him if he wants to tell you. Poor boy," Andromeda sniffed disdainfully of Sirius and all his doings.  
  
Sirius was flabbergasted. There was no other word. Speechless, he left the room, and returned to his letters. He skimmed through Peter's, but did not reply. Truthfully, he couldn't think of much to say. He mailed off James' and Remus' letters, and went to find Bellatrix. He needed a good fight.  
  
"Hey Bella," Sirius said casually, entering her lair. "What's up?"  
  
"Get out, you foul creature."  
  
"Whatcha reading?" Sirius asked, flopping next to her on her bed. He pulled the magazine away from her.  
  
"Give that back now!" Bellatrix growled.  
  
"Never!" Sirius cried gleefully. He leaped up and grabbed a pillow, and hit her on the side of her arm.  
  
"You--!" she yelled angrily, too angry to even finish her sentence. She grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be her alarm clock, shaped like a human skull, (the time flashed out of the mouth, with the date in the right eye and AM or PM in the left) and threw it at Sirius' head. He hit it squarely with the pillow and knocked it to the side. Bellatrix let out a primal scream of fury and leapt at Sirius with vengeance.  
  
Sirius laughed exuberantly and smacked her with the pillow again. She grabbed her other pillow and hit him too. They went at it for several minutes, running around Bella's room, then making it into the hallway, running down the steps, jumping over furniture, and yelling insults. Bellatrix, in a moment of insane rage, screamed a word too dirty to put into print, flung her pillow at him and he deflected it easily, sneering, "Is that the best you can do?"  
  
Bellatrix, her face contorted with hatred, picked up a lamp. Sirius' eyes widened. "Bellatrix! Noooo--!"  
  
But it was too late.  
  
Bellatrix hurled the lamp, and hit Sirius squarely in the chest. The laughter had not yet died from his face, and his eyes widened. It seemed to take him an age to fall. His body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backward onto the couch.  
  
Sirius woke up many hours later, his chest aching. He looked around, bleary- eyed. "Angamuldof?" he mumbled, his mouth feeling like it must be full of marbles.  
  
"I'm right here," Andromeda said gently, rubbing cream on his chest. Sirius suddenly felt quite a bit better.  
  
"What happened?" Sirius asked groggily. Uncle Alphard handed him some pumpkin juice.  
  
"You went looking for a fight, and you found one," Alphard said, a bit sharply. "I have grounded Bellatrix for the time being, because she did, erm, attack you, but you are not in my good graces either, young man."  
  
"Wait until your mother hears about this!" Narcissa said gleefully.  
  
Sirius choked on his pumpkin juice, spraying it all over his bed, Andromeda and Narcissa. Narcissa shrieked and ran out of the room to get a bath.  
  
"Don't tell Mum!" he begged. "She'll kill me! Please!"  
  
"Oh, we are not going to tell your mother," said Andromeda impatiently. "We aren't homicidal."  
  
"You got some letters when you were, er, sleeping," Alphard said, looking at his pocket watch. "It's about eight in the evening. We decided to give you a sleeping potion so you could sleep off the worst of it."  
  
"Yeah, so you can just go to bed after you read your owls." Andromeda handed the letters to Sirius, and she and Alphard left the room.  
  
Sirius opened the letter from James.  
  
_ Sirius,  
If you are waiting to catch your aunt in a good mood, as you put it, you'll never get to come. Just ask her and be done with it. Fool.  
Do you really want to know who wrote? Because if you do, I'll tell you—WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT MY HOUSE! I won't risk this owl being intercepted.  
Got to go. Write back only when you get the answer.  
_  
Sirius flung the letter aside, and opened the next.  
  
_Sirius,  
  
Bonjour means hello. Not good bye. And you need to stop speaking languages you don't know. Are you going to be able to come to James' party?  
  
Remus  
_  
Sirius sighed deeply. Tomorrow, he decided, he would ask permission of the High Priestess of Evil to go to James' house. And if she said no...  
  
Well.  
  
He'd go anyway. So ha.


End file.
